Sunday, September 13, 2009

Cafes & Suited Laptops

Hello, never know how to start a Blog, but that seems to fit, you know, "COMFY" like them seats you see in Coffee Shops, "CAFES" you know the seats I mean, you have been out and about, doing this & that, Food Shopping, Clothes Shopping, :-) , with or with out kids, midweek or Saturday (sadly in Britain due to incompetent Goveing by the Goverment this also means a Sunday ) you get to either the middle of the day, or its elevenses (IF you started early) you want to sit down in one of them "COMFY" chairs just like they did in Friends (Jennifer Aniston Optional), you come to your desired watering hole, where you can drink & fodder with ease (not looking over shoulder for the OH so common Paris Hilton-Britney F**K Me Spears Types).

We now live in Berlin so our fave places are ( Cafe Nero, The Coffee Shop, Caras ) The Coffee shop is a very special Cafe as you can see Parrots from where you sit, they belong to Berlin Zoo, about a 100 in all, & we have Never Had a Prob with "Comfy" seats as it is 80% "Comfy" seat, but when we lived in Britain we water holed in Cafe Neros, Costas and free hold Cafes, some times we would have to wait for an elderly lady, or couple or Gent, some times a Woman with Children, NO probs there at all, but with out doubt the Worst would be the Man in a Suit Desperately trying to look like George Clooney, or Brad Pitt, or such, but always looking like a Brit man who is in to Football Cuz he thinks all the others are, who also think all the others are, and too scared to ask in case of the saying "you a Woman", but that not a prob, if thats how Brit Men want to live in each others pockets which leads to a mid life crisis or Heart attack that their bizz, (sadly I'm seeing Women doing the same thing only Different stuff, it might not lead to Midlife crisis or heart attack, but it must age the Woman, all that Baggage).

But that not the Prob, the prob is they IE Bizz Man in George Clooney rip off Suit is, the laptop, WHY, oh WHY the "LAPTOP" what is wrong with the Office, I say this with a favour Most Citys in the World have had their harts RIPPED out of them to make way for Office Space, proof of this is in Londons "Center Point", it was opened in the late 60s & still in 2009 it is only 1/4 full, Crumbs knows how many buildings wer demolished for that lump, & I would be right in saying it shoved the Prices up on every thing else in the area,
We got the same Prob NOW here in Berlin, so many areas are being turned in to Offices insted of homes, a sickening fact is (offices are DELIBERATELY designed so they cant be turned in to homes if they cant be sold), so why with all this going on do Bizz Men & sadly yes Bizz Woman have to sit with their laptops in the Comfy Chairs, probably doing nothing more than looking up the latest bit of Rubbish to do with football, or even sadder looking through a Womans Chave silly mag for some bit of nonsense to impress some Woman to sleep with, at least I hope so with all the Gove "TOP SECRET" stuff that has been lost or leaked in Britain in last year & half.

Sadly & with Thanks to @DerrenBrown and "Work Snug" what a sick name just so you know what "Work Snug" does here is a link what they do is tell the Laptop Man where he can take his "TOY" & they do call them that and pose in their George Clooney rip off Suits, for us real People out there this will NOW mean we will have to Pre Book our Comfy seats months in advance, how Women with Children will manage I dont know, NO doubt that THE Daily Mail, The Sun, The Times & Telegraph will SCREAM it another area that us Woman fail, I can see the head lines now "Women are Bad Mothers Cuz they cant SECURE Comfy seats in Cafes".

So ask your selves lap top users & yes I know @stephenfry uses one, but his stay at home, think be for you "Laptop" in Cafes, we need our Comfy seats, plus if you cant get a Comfy Seat becaus of another Laptoper, dont sit at a table and open up said toy (Beast) just go back to your office that Probably RIPPED the heart out of the City or town your in, and if your office is not in the City-Town you working "WAIT" you not the king of where you are, & yes this info also applies to George Clooney too,
so Laptoppers Remember, Proper shoppers Come First, and dont HUFF and PUFF when a Woman is out with Children in a cafe making a little bit of Noise, they dont have Offices you do, there may be one (and only one) bonus to laptoppers being in a Public space, they not in the office pinching Secretarys BUM, or in some cases Breasts, AH NO there are TWO Bonuses, The Photo Copier doesnt get BUNGED UP with copies of BUM Shots and Football Results.

I Thank Scrummy Susan for her help & George Clooney, @DerrenBrown & @stephenfry who without their help this could not be done. X X X


  1. Oh well, now I'm onto Little Joy and then Uh Huh Her, reading what it's like to watch things come apart at the seems over in some city that my friends daughter just met a man in, maybe the man who is 'the one' like Neo or something, but can he jump between the buildings the first time?? best luck on finding comfy chairs and others. then there's you the one who sounds like fun that is being missed so much it's like sentiment & maudlin, post modern sad, like kafka and crumpets. brielle

  2. i meant i like your style, and it's sad we can't meet tahdah